Thursday, 30 June 2016
In discussions with buddies through the Desteni I Process and on the Desteni forum, I sometimes want answers/clarification as to what is the 'right' thing to say in a moment. Like, how should I say something, what specific words should I use - things like that. And whilst others can give me some pointers of what to say/how to say things in a moment, it'll not actually 'work' for me in the moment unless I have cleared my reactions etc as my starting point to what I say in the moment.
So as I said, a lot of the time I do just want to know what may be the best thing to say or action to take in a moment, but without doing the necessary self-forgiveness to release reactions/thoughts/emotions/feelings/judgments. Because through a clear starting point, it'll be much easier for me to 'find' the BEST words or actions to say/take in the moment. It'll happen on the spot. Rather than me desiring to get advice/perspectives on what may be the best words/actions to be done in a moment.
This has a lot to do with wanting to take the easy/fast route in supposedly 'fixing' or overcoming a moment that I might be having difficult with.
But as I said, it won't work - it'll be forced, I won't be stable, and I won't stick by it - for instance, I might get some advice on a cool way to overcome a moment and I'll give it a shot (forcing it though) but then the next time this moment comes up, I'll just be desiring to remember exactly what the advice given to me was. See, it shouldn't be about an exact set of actions or words, because there is no set actions or words - there is but a clear starting point with many actions/words to be used in a moment that is best for all.
So always the releasing must come first, that is absolutely the most sure-fire way to KNOW what to say or do in a moment - I'll be able to speak/act as the physical in the moment this way.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe there is an exact set of words or actions to use in a moment that magically work each and every time.
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realise and understand that without a clear starting point through self-forgiveness on reactions and such, the things I do in a moment will not be clear or stable as and within me, they will instead be forced and will thus come across as not real - so here I realise that there is no such thing as a fast remedy to overcome a moment or point, it takes time, dedication and patience. I commit myself to take time, use dedication and use patience in overcoming points and thus knowing what to do in a moment.
When and as I see myself desiring a quick-fix because I am desperate to overcome a point or moment, I stop and breathe. I realise that there are no excuses here. I realise that I must write diligently and regularly, otherwise I act in moments as self-dishonesty through force/lying to myself and others.
I commit myself to if the moment comes up regularly, to simply write each day and/or when I can to slowly but surely overcome the point, realising here that with each writing that I do, it gets a hell of a lot easier when it comes to these moments on how/what to do in these moments.
I commit myself to understand that there are actually multiple things to do in a moment that are what is best for all, thus there are NO 'set' things to do in a moment that are best for all.
I commit myself to be flexible in moments as what is best for all, so that I can use my clear starting point to see/do in the moment what is required as what is best for all.
I commit myself to act on/in moments as what is best for all.
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Sunday, 26 June 2016
Desperation and wanting to keep something that I rarely encounter.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to do something because I see that it’s something that I rarely come across and so within desperation, I stick to it NOT as the self-directive principle and so NOT as control – which I see in reality is a hindrance to me and an obstacle, because it’s not actually what I want or SHOULD be doing as the physical.
I forgive myself thus that I have accepted and allowed myself to still rely on another to fulfil me in some way, shape or form. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I require a certain individual to be something more or to reach my potential as something or someone.
When and as I see myself desiring to keep something external happening/going at the expense of being my self-directive principle, I stop and breathe. I realise that it’s times like these as writing here, that I release these things that stopped me from being my self-directive principle. I realise also that here I Investigate why I was not being my self-directive principle.
I realise that I am still looking externally and in another in this case for enjoyment. I realise that I MYSELF give myself the realest means of enjoyment, because enjoyment is what I make of it. So I commit myself to be the self-directive principle of myself and thus all that I do in movement and control and thus also within enjoyment and enjoying everything I do as a self-directive principle.
I commit myself not to allow past memories of attachments to others and reliance on others as the mind and thus of believing I need someone/something to enjoy or to be the person that I want to be.
I commit myself to continue working on self-enjoyment as the self-directive principle of myself and all that I do. Within this, I commit myself TO enjoy time with/speaking to others – as self-enjoyment, not as reliance-enjoyment and not as necessary means of enjoyment.
I commit myself to even out the things that I do in my life, so that I do different things. I commit myself to allow myself to experience different things through time management/being here and aware of the physical time I spend on activities and such.
I commit myself to take breaks/rest when needed/when I see is appropriate for my physical body to rest.
I commit myself not to believe I must do things for another at the EXPENSE of myself as the self-directive principle that I am of myself.
I commit myself to breathe and move as the one and only self-directive principle of myself.
Saturday, 25 June 2016
Yesterday I wrote how I feared engaging in conflict by basically disagreeing with another on something. So in turn, I was almost always being kind and accepting and also not willing to share my own perspective if it differed from another's - all these out of a fear of creating and engaging into conflict.
A few weeks ago I overheard 2 people that I live with in a verbal argument. It was a quite short one. But I could tell they were both angry and there was some swearing happening. It didn't get physical which was somewhat of a relief. I didn't see this mind you, but it was easy to hear.
At the time I was unsure what to do. I did feel a bit scared and fearful. I mean, I myself was safe, I did not cause or were involved in this argument, but it was just the fact that conflict was happening and being around it, the thought that well, anything could happen, really, so in that way/that is where the fear originated. Being close to the conflict/argument.
And I didn't know what to do. Should I wait silently in my room until this thing blows over, or should I step outside and go to the situation and try to diffuse it? I think it depends on a few factors, like if alcohol/drugs are involved..
Perhaps what are the chances that the conflict could turn onto me for trying to diffuse the situation and so verbal/physical attacks get targeted onto me.
It's interesting. Here I realise IF it did get physical and a fight ensued, I'd not think twice lol, I'd want to go out and break it up, because to me that is a worst case scenario, but even if I am to do this, sure, I could still get caught/targeted as physical attacks. So yes, I do see it as best to try and diffuse it, but see how it goes in the moment. If I can see my reasoning/diffusing is NOT working as planned and anger is perhaps being targeted at me in the moment, then try other means, calling police or something, because I don't want the situation getting out of hand at all, definitely not.
So yes, this helped me to realise things. It's best to at least attempt to diffuse the conflict. And if my attempts fail, then I go for other means.
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Thursday, 23 June 2016
As you can see by this photo that I recently took, my jaw is quite misaligned in relation to the rest of my face. I have had quite a lot of insecurities about this, because it is not symmetrical and/or as aligned as the average person’s face. And within this backchats come up in my mind that I am a freak, that I am deformed, that I am retarded etc. After investigations, I’ve realised the reason for my misaligned jaw could be either down to my participation in the mind over the course of my life and/or myself as the physical and conditions such as breathing through my mouth for most of my life, probably to deal with the asthma that I used to have.
In any case, it is what is here now, it is me and at this moment, that is all. It may or may not align itself more accurately further down the line, through bringing myself back to my physical self and/or practicing breathing through my nose, but I can’t ‘wait’ for that, if it is to happen. It’s about accepting what it is here and now.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as a freak, deformed and retarded based on the misalignment of my jaw in relation to my face.
I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to desire to ‘wait’ until/if my jaw becomes more aligned in relation to my face before being satisfied or feeling comfortable with my whole face in general.
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to unconditionally accept my face as what it is here and now, which means to accept the misaligned jaw in relation to my face.
When and as I see myself desiring to judge myself as a freak/deformed/retarded based on the misalignment of my jaw in relation to my face, I stop and breathe. I realise that I’ve associated negative energies to and as these words as separation. I commit myself to accept that yes, my face is deformed, yes my face is not perfect, yes my face is not symmetrical, though realising that this does not at all stop me from doing anything as the physical, it ONLY if I allow it, stops me from doing things in the physical if I allow my mind to direct me as self-judgment.
When and as I see myself associating the words freak/deformed/retarded with negative energies as separation, I stop and breathe. I realise that these words as negative energies are hurtful and inconsiderate and only create separation. So I commit myself to redefine them into something that is best for all.
I was feeding the 'I am always right' character by accepting and agreeing with this character, unknowingly. At the time(s) I see that there were a few reasons that I was accepting/agreeing with this particular character. 1 was avoiding 'conflict', 2 was agreeing with this character as the parent-type character and 3 was the being kind character. These are my characters that I was.
The conflict point is the one I want to tackle here. It definitely ties in with the wanting to be kind 24/7 character that I participate within a lot. I feel like if I am to NOT accept another's ways of doing things, then conflict could very well arise. But this is not true! It depends HOW I myself respond to another's way of doing things for instance. Like obviously if my starting point is of anger and so proving another 'wrong' or wanting to prove that my way is best, then conflict WILL begin.
But if my starting point is acceptance within my own ways and also within that another's ways, then that'll show in my words/actions/self. I see it as something like "Thank you for your perspective/method, I appreciate it, but I see my own perspective/method more in line of what it is that I like/prefer to do." Lol this won't always be what I say/I might never say this, but just giving a worded example of acceptance, but also pointing out that I see my own perspective/methods/ways aligning more with what I choose/prefer to do.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that conflict will ensue anytime I am to 'disagree' with another.
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realise and understand that I can bring up my own perspective WITHOUT participating as the character that I don't want to be, that being the anger character.
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to accept unconditionally another's perspective, for whatever the reason may be, because not accepting it IS a sure fire way of and to conflict.
So I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to accept all perspectives, no matter what their origins/reasons of being are.
I commit myself to voice my own perspectives AFTER accepting another if I see it as best to do so as what is best for all.
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Tuesday, 21 June 2016
And I see this is a big reason why I believe I cannot progress forwards in terms of being self-directive as myself. Because I keep feeling like a slave to parent-authority figures. Almost like it is a requirement to do so, to be under parent-authority for life. It's definitely a hindrance to me, as sometimes I see that I want to make a decision, but then I stop and participate within my mind and backchats of if a parent will agree with this decision I make, or, what will they think of this decision I make - then "No, wait, I must make sure the decision suits them, too. They are my parents and have a degree of authority over me and what I do and what happens in my life, even now despite me being of age to not require any external authority to do anything in my life."
So I will write self-forgiveness here about feeling a slave to the parent-authority figure that was established and so programmed within me from birth.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate as the slave character under parent authority that I see I must still be, when in reality it is just me brainwashed by parent-authority figures and not being able to make my own choices and decisions from my younger days.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel the requirement to cross-reference my own choices and decisions with what I believe my parents would want in a mind state of "Will they accept this decision, how will they seem me if I take this path?"
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to externalise my authority to my parents within the belief that they are forever attached to me within an authority-over-slave like mentality.
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to break the chains of parent-child authority that was established within me from birth.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to stop myself from exploring and evolving because I continually felt the weight of being a slave/having a parent-authority figure hanging over me.
When and as I see myself believing that I am not capable or 'allowed' to be the directive principle/the one and only directive principle of myself in what I do and want to do, I stop and breathe. I realise that I am the only directive principle of myself, and any thoughts otherwise are via my mind and in this case programs from birth as the parent-authority figure having control over me and making decisions for me and on my behalf.
I commit myself to be the one and only directive principle of myself and thus of all that I do and choose to do.
I commit myself to create a self-directive authority from myself that does thus not have to be 'checked' by a parent-authority figure or any type of authority that does not require authorisation in the world.
I commit myself to see, realise and understand that any 'chains' that exist and hold me down/back from doing what it is I want to do or want to be are only chains established in my mind and not actual chains that exist in the real world, so I commit myself to continue breaking these fake chains so that I can push myself in the real world to do what it is I truly want to do.
I commit myself to make decisions based on what is best for all, realising within this that I am the authority, the self-directive authority over my own decisions.
I commit myself to utilise my control for what is best for all.
I commit myself not to allow 'ghosts' as I call them from the past as the parent-authority figure come up within me in the physical and direct me/the choices I desire to make.
Saturday, 18 June 2016
Boy oh boy, I can relate to this feeling so so much! In childhood, teens and early adult years. Genuinely, only after investigating what Desteni is and knowing the tools of writing and the courses that Desteni provides, was I actually able to realise that I DO belong, as do ALL. Nobody does NOT belong. And it's unfortunate that this feeling of not belonging can manifest heavily in our lives and take such a strong and deep impact on each of us, even to the point of ending our life.
None of the support out there GETS to the point of WHY we feel this way, how we feel this way. We're usually told to speak to counsellors and such for help, but they do not know OURSELVES as WE DO. It purely comes down to how we see ourselves. How we are judging ourselves. And it's cool to see if we can find out the triggers, the memories as to why we feel like an outcast in the present. A lot of these memories come from our younger years.
And if we 'feel' like we don't belong, for whatever reason, we must ask ourselves WHY? Because, and as much as we'd like to trust the backchat/the thoughts in our mind of "I feel like I don't belong because of (enter person's name here)." - well, then we are of course externalising that and MAKING it about someone else. Then it can get to the point, and I've seen this in my own life, where I just WON'T do something/attend something UNLESS I KNOW FOR SURE that that person will NOT BE THERE lol.
So I make it all about them. THEY direct what I do or do not do. Then I bring it back to self. How crazy is that? To stop myself from doing something that I actually would LIKE to do, because of 1 person. And it doesn't have to be just 1 person, it can be multiple people. And/or it can be the actions that they are taking which I don't like and again so I manifest this avoidance to 'deal' with the situation. Because how else can I deal with it other than to turn my back on it and walk away?
Truth is, if we just walk away and avoid seemingly 'difficult' scenarios and people, then we'll never learn or grow. We'll never obviously take self-responsibility.
Now, if we ARE to take self-responsibility and investigate WHY we hate this person or hate their actions or behaviour, we'll be able to then know what really is behind this feeling of hatred. Because it doesn't just come out of the blue. There are sometimes really deep meanings behind this hatred.
And that is of course when writing comes into play. Writing is the absolute key to discovery and solution - along with self-forgiveness. Damn, yes it can take multiple writings to unravel and unravel points WITHIN a point, but it'll be worth it. No more avoiding people/groups etc for reasoning of hatred! Hatred is the mind.
So, continue, or, start the writing. See what Desteni is about, see how to write, start the courses, take self-responsibility - because that in the end is what it's about. We all have the power to change, it's up to us to direct it through writing and self-honesty/self-investigation.
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Friday, 17 June 2016
At times I see that I still allow my mind to make something VERY personal – a personal attack on myself, a personal attack on who I am, what I am, and everything about me. Like if I am chatting to someone online and they disconnect the chat (chatting with strangers), or if someone ignores what I have to say in an email, or if someone in particular does not ‘like’ my Facebook activities – I tend to make these all personal.
Then I take a step back and breathe now..
I do not in reality know why others do or do not do what they do, and frankly if I am obsessing over what they do or do not do when it comes to myself, then this is MY problem. Because it should NOT matter what another does/does not do regarding me at ALL.
So here I am as the mind, taking it personally of course, and within this trying to figure out the reasoning behind people not doing things that I’d LIKE them to do. Of course I don’t know the reasoning behind people’s choices, only they know. And within that I cannot rely on another’s actions to make me ‘feel at peace.’
See, that is what I want, to feel at peace, to feel accepted – to be understood. And I know here as the physical that that peace, acceptance and understanding can ONLY come from within me. As my starting point to all that I do. Then, if this is the case, then what another does in relation to me is simply what it is, a choice by them. But here I will not cling onto this choice no matter which way it goes, because it is THEIR choice. Just like my choices are MY choice.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make little things, and CHOICES that others make personal – as a personal attack on me, what I am, who I am, and all that I stand for.
Something else I was going to write out was the unpredictable nature of basically everything, everything that happens in the future IS unpredictable. I do what I do/can do as myself, but still there is an unpredictable nature, and that increases massively when others are involved – something to see, realise and understand for myself.
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realise and understand that life and so the future IS unpredictable – I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to EMBRACE the unpredictable, because whatever unpredictable thing that happens, happens. I cannot alter it, once it happens, it’s happened, so I accept it, I understand it and I do what has to be done or I move on from it, or I learn from it.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe there is something wrong with me, that there is something wrong with who I am, with what I stand for.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed my mind to direct me through taking things personally and so as a personal attack on my very being as life.
When and as I see myself failing to embrace another’s choices and the unpredictability of the future, I stop and breathe. I realise that the only thing I can control is MYSELF and MY OWN actions. Thus everything else including another’s choices/decisions and other factors ARE UNPREDICTABLE and so EXTERNAL and so OUT OF MY CONTROL. I realise that I cannot control everything. I realise that I am NO GOD, I am not a almighty powerful being that is able to enter another’s body and make choices THAT SUIT ME. I am not some spirit that can enter anything and affect it TO SUIT ME.
I commit myself to SUIT MYSELF through MY OWN ACTIONS and CHOICES/DECISIONS.
I commit myself to suit OTHERS through my own actions and choices/decisions.
I commit myself to allow another’s choices/decisions to suit me. I commit myself to learn from another’s choices/decisions.
I commit myself NOT to jump to conclusions as the mind and so as personal attacks on what/who I am as a human life.
I commit myself to embrace EVERYTHING. I commit myself to embrace the future. I commit myself to embrace another’s choices/decisions. I commit myself to embrace the weather. I commit myself to embrace smoke alarms going off. I commit myself to embrace insects getting in my room. I commit myself to embrace every tiny thing that MAY happen so that I can immediately move on from it, learn from it, accept it, understand it – or a combination of these things.
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Thursday, 16 June 2016
Before discovering Desteni, my goal in this life would have been to be successful with money. So, to have a solid career, earning the big bucks. And then the standard goal of finding ‘the one’ – the perfect partner, having the perfect children – a nice house. All that jazz ha. I don’t think many stray from these goals. Usually they’re the same for most people. And I don’t see any reason for these goals to be any different, because it’s simply what is seen as the best goals to get to, we hear it from our own parents, and a lot in the media, we see it in movies and such – the perfect family and relationships.
The problem with these goals is that it obviously does not take into account ALL life, they don’t take into account the corruption that exists on Earth and they don’t take into account the destruction that we are doing currently.
The brutal reality is that we and future life will NOT exist if we do not wake up and face the reality of the utter fucked up situation we are all in.
I was like you previously in that I saw that something like this, something like changing people or changing the world was IMPOSSIBLE. How can I? 1 human do anything? Especially as I don’t have the ahem, ‘power’ – I don’t have lots of money, I don’t have the popularity to force change or to make change. I don’t have these things.
But what I do now have are the tools to change MYSELF. It always comes back to self and in actuality starts with self. I have seen time and time again how BEING an EXAMPLE is the most POWERFUL sense of change that can happen for another. No matter how big or small the example, a simple act of kindness can go a long way to showing someone real and valued potential that a life on Earth can have/obtain.
Someone has to change the world and lives of one another. It’s so easy and tempting to just let another do it because they have money and power and popularity. But each one’s voice here is vital, simple as that. The more voices, the more actions, the better.
Can you imagine a group of people that stand for life and change in this world – real and practical change/ways of change? People that actually want to change and change others? You should care about future life. If we don’t, nobody does.
We’re already going downhill as life. It’s only going to get worse if we don’t act AS SOON AS POSSIBLE/NOW. I for one would like to see a change in this world/ourselves as life, a change that benefits all. A change that I can stand by and be proud of. A change for the future. And as I mentioned earlier, it starts with YOURSELF. It starts with MYSELF. Be an example. Show the way, show others the light. The light of change.
My goal is to be an example in this world. To influence and assist others for the best. Show them the best path to take and be on. Show them that a difference CAN be made, however small. Be a part of the solution. Stand for the real and the practical. Don’t go through life in regret of what you KNOW you can be and what you know you can stand for as life.
It’s now or NEVER.
Tuesday, 14 June 2016
Everyone has their own unique ways. For instance and this is the reasoning for this writing, cleaning. Some are the type that want everything to be spotless. Like absolutely clean. Whereas another might just do what they can type of thing but not be longing for that spotless clean. And then another might not give a shit at all haha – and just be cool living in a state of uncleanliness.
Which here is the best one? I say the do what one can do type. Yes, keep things clean, but don’t OBSESS over it to the point of every speck of dust being an issue. That is too far/much.
Anyway. I’m the type that cleans and likes to be clean, but not to the obsessive point. Though another that I was around was the obsessive type. Now, here I see that depending on location and what is being used if it BELONGS to the one that is the obsessive type, then it can be necessary to do what suits them as the obsessive cleaning because it is their belonging-type thing, BUT when it is a neutral location for instance, then there is certainly no need to satisfy another’s conclusion of obsessive cleaning, no.
Yet, I did this. I succumbed to this. I saw that I was satisfying others and not satisfying myself. I see that I’ve allowed this individual’s ways and such to direct me in terms of a fear type of thing. Well yes, a fear. A fear of not being clean enough/perfect enough as obsession. This was directing me.
But it’s not only with cleaning, this can be anything. So in general, I see that yes, if it is a person’s items/location for instance, then it IS their rules. Absolutely. But if it is a neutral location/items being used by me, then it’s just my own rules. Simple as that, really.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to allow another’s obsession to direct me despite a neutral location.
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see who owns/pays for the items/location etc to then do what is needed for the satisfaction of who is involved.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give ‘power’ to another through wanting to show them/show in general that I am doing what satisfies them which I realise only gives them impotence to continue an obsession/their own ways of doing things, which is not what I want.
So I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to fuel another’s habits/ways as obsession and as the mind.
I commit myself to do things that satisfy myself/my own needs/wants in general/where I can.
I commit myself to do things that satisfy others where necessary.
When and as I see myself desiring to satisfy others needs in a neutral location with neutral products, I stop and breathe. I realise that here I’ve accepted and allowed fear to direct me of what another will think if I am not to do what satisfies them. I commit myself to do things under my own direction/rules.
I commit myself to embrace satisfying myself/my own wants and needs.
Thursday, 9 June 2016
Life is the only thing that matters in the end. I’ve seen this with myself, this behaviour of attachment and clinging into a myriad of things. Possessions like electronic devices..certain bands, tv shows....sports. One knows when this attachment is too much/has gone too far when we see these things as the basis/forefront of our lives. When it is a living for this attachment.
But obviously without LIFE in the first place, we’d not exist to be able to have access to these things.
What we must do is change things around. Yes, we can have access to these things that can bring joy to life, that can make us laugh etc, but to have them take a priority OVER life is silly when you look at it, is it not?
Life absolutely should be the priority, both the life of ourselves and the life of all life. And only when that is seen and used as priority, only THEN should we even contemplate other things we can get out of life within and as enjoyment or adding or learning.
Obviously life is FAR from priority now. It’s barely a priority for most. People would rather cling onto whatever it is they hold so near and dear in their lives and have that in their lives until death, rather than be grateful for the very life they have now.
It is more than unfair to ignore a life based on specimen, based on geographic location, based on race, based on gender.
That is WHY the tools of Desteni exist. So that we can get back to life, life as the starting point, as our essence of being. Life comes first no matter what you think. Life is priority no matter what you think. Thus it’s for each one to REALISE this. We are all capable of realising the importance of life as ourselves and the life of others.
But you must take the initiative to write here. Check out the information and tools that Desteni provides. There are so many that will help you, for free. On the forums, on the courses online, wherever. These are people that know how hard it is to get back to life and be life. And they all want to help others get to the same point. Because we should all have the right to exist as life and realise how vital life is.
Investigate Desteni and SEEK help from the forums, or anywhere and you will receive awesome assistance GUARANTEED in relation to the tools that Desteni provides and any other questions you may have.
Tuesday, 7 June 2016
Everytime I drive, I always take note and am aware of almost EVERY driver rushing. I can tell by the way they are driving, how fast their car is going at all opportunities, always at the max, if not above the speed limit. That is how fast we want to go. Or how fast we feel like we have to go. Deadlines, responsibilities – these all correlate in the speed we drive. And they also correlate in the danger that is created.
Car accident/road accidents are so common. It would be a strange day if a car accident of some kind did not happen. And of course injuries, death. Destruction..chaos.
We can each take self-responsibility for most of these. Like if we have to be somewhere at a certain time, then ALLOW time for the trip/to reach the destination. You know, take into account the traffic, get somewhere before the time, even 10 minutes before, better early than late. I know we can improve these things in terms of deadlines by doing things like changing jobs/things within jobs to make them for instance more lenient in terms of deadlines and not for instance worrying whether we will make the deadline and so be able to keep our jobs.
I’m driving very much as an example of patience, of slow-ness and of responsibility. Driving over the limit, no way. Clearly taking the time to drive for safety. Safety absolutely should be the starting point of driving and NOT meeting deadlines/times etc. But it’s easy to see that safety is not the starting point of driving for most.
Let’s change and create a society where safety and consideration of ourselves and others is the starting point. Not only of driving, but all that we do. We shouldn’t have to risk injuring/killing ourselves/others. We should be driving calmly, slowly. Not slowly in terms of going as slow as possible, but performing actions slowly, like turning, changing gears, steering, braking, accelerating – these things. All these movements should be slowed down as safety, consideration and caring for one another.
Let’s all drive pleasantly!
I cannot be accepting of myself if I am in constant desire for something more. Here is how I see this: Through desiring something of myself or even something that I see can 'add' to myself/my life, I see that it renders my CURRENT life/situation as low or not reaching some standard as desire that I have. This is definitely an unhealthy thing, because as I said earlier, I am not accepting/have not accepted me as I am here with what I have here NOW, and from my experience, I then participate within emotions as a state of depression/sadness - PERHAPS until I have this desire as me/in my reach, but even then, another desire will come along to pull me back to depression/sadness.
Specifically in relation to process and self-change, I can ALWAYS be something more. So there is a realisation of that as desire, a desire to be better, a desire to be more - I see that this can work in a constructive way in terms of pushing myself to write for instance, to keep bettering myself. But that should be a simple decision simply as what is best for all. And not a DESTRUCTIVE desire, like "I have not reached my potential yet, I am a failure." That is obviously destructive and resembles what I tell myself as my mind.
It is mainly that, that I want to focus on, desire for self-betterment.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire destructively in terms of self-judgment/neglect of in fact how I've ALREADY changed thus far in my process.
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to use desire as something simple, as a step, a decision - to write every day, to better myself in fact.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire potential and a self-betterment that has not yet happened for me/as me as a destructive desire as self-judgment of not being there yet - here obviously failing to realise that process is not fast.
I commit myself to use desire as simplicity, as a step and as a choice/decision to write. I commit myself to use desire from a starting point of being calm and considerate with myself, a calm step/decision to write for self-betterment, SLOWLY.
I commit myself to utilise patient desire as taking my time with myself and with writing.
Sunday, 5 June 2016
Consistency is basically being self-honest about the things that I can be doing in my life. If I am self-honest in all that I do, then the consistency should simply follow. Self-honest in having the time to write for instance, self-honest in having the time to study, self-honest in having the time to visit people, self-honest in having the time/being able to do whatever it is that I am able to do.
For me, I am not as consistent as I can be. Which means I am not as self-honest as I can be. Which shows that in this regard, there are times where I am not self-honest, and I instead allow my mind to direct me into doing something else, something that is easier perhaps.
Of course, self-honesty is the major fundamental of walking with Desteni, it is absolutely key. Though it is a process, a long one. I am still walking it and so walking self-honesty within being able to live self-honesty in its purest form. And that means it's the same for consistency. It is a process. But obviously, I choose the pace at which I move in my process and so I choose the pace of living self-honesty and so consistency.
I'll tell you what, it is EXCELLENT to know that it is ALL and ONLY in MY hands - what I do as self-change. In the end, I must make the decisions and choices. Nobody can make them for me. I have the power, the ability - I have access to the necessary tools. There are no excuses that exist for not changing.
If anything is prolonged, it is my doing. It always comes back to self. And so there is no blame/pointing of fingers of another.
It is actually empowering to know and realise this power of change is within me and present with me currently, and always will be as I am here and alive.
Saturday, 4 June 2016
I see that I'm not disciplined in the tasks that I should be undertaking for myself and others. I still tend to do something that I 'prefer' to do. In relation to comfortability, fun and relaxation. So then I put things off or tell myself I'll do it tomorrow - that old saying/excuse. I see that there is NO legitimate/real/actual reason why I cannot do something, I mean, obviously unless it's genuinely valid, like some massive thing has happened, which is uncommon, like I have to be somewhere asap, or I can't do something because I lack the resources. You know.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself not to be disciplined in what I do/what I want/should do for the benefit of myself and others.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to prefer and take the easier route which requires usually relaxation and warmth and comfortability.
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to embrace different scenes and scenarios and items etc within doing something that perhaps is not a comfortable thing to do in comparison to something that I see is very comfortable and relaxing.
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realise and understand the legitimate benefits I get from doing the tasks that I don't like to do/do as much.
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to share and mix it up in what I do in my life, this way I don't rid myself of certain comforts, I just lessen them here, but I still give myself the opportunity to enjoy these comforts.
When and as I see myself lying to myself in favour of doing something that is more comfortable and/or I 'prefer' - I stop and breathe. I realise that preference is only temporary and short lived. And I realise that going against that in favour of something else I'd usually not do/not do as much creates discipline within myself and the more I do this, the more discipline I will live and be as. So I commit myself to allow and teach myself to do more things and things that are literally outside my comfort zone. I commit myself to escape the comfort so that I can direct myself in doing interesting and unique things that benefit myself in what it is that I do as these things, and the discipline I gain/grow and live as within myself from going against the preference as the mind.
I commit myself to reward myself with comfort when I do these tasks and then even get back into the task after the comfort - I share and alternate this way and do and be the best I can be through doing different tasks and things, rather than sticking to comfort for the most part.
Thursday, 2 June 2016
I wanted to share a story that I now find hilarious. Lol it was basically when I was trying to prove that attractive girls liked me etc ha. Through online means this is.
But it's a great example of the mind at play, more specifically attraction, sex, popularity.
It was back in Myspace days, and here I actually always tried to fetch online..popularity, even if this popularity didn't transfer/result in popularity physically/in person. So, I would basically SHOP for comments, for comments specifically that others could read lol. This is very funny writing this now/looking back on it.
One specific moment: I was good friends I suppose with someone I Had met online. We had spoken etc for maybe 3 years. We got on well. We were Myspace friends. SO, there was this particular girl at my school that I fancied. I found her attractive etc. We were newly Myspace friends. I just added her because I knew her from school, even though probably had only said 1 word to her in person ha.
I can't remember why exactly, but there was this song I wanted to know the name of/who sang it. It may have been a song she had on her Myspace profile. Because in those days (maybe now too) one could put a song onto their profile that would play when anyone else visited their profile. I think that was it, because she had since changed her song to another one. Now that I think about it, I did actually know the name/artist of this song, because otherwise I wouldn't have done this.
BUT, I acted like I didn't know the artist/name of the song. So I commented on this person's profile asking "What was the name/artist of the song you had previously?" Or something along those lines. And I knew what she would comment back lol. The name of the song was something 'baby' - can't remember the artist name. BUT here, lol, I had this girl that I fancied..I had a comment from her with the words 'baby' - lol and within my mind I made this some huge thing, like it's some indication that she likes me back or something. So funny now.
But on viewing my profile, it didn't look like a comment of a song title/artist, it just said 'baby' and something else. BECAUSE I KNEW that my online friend was going to see my profile and so this comment, AND SO I wanted to prove to this friend that "YEAHHHHHH, look at me/this comment, from an attractive girl woo! That's right, I'm mr popular and mr good with the ladies!" Lol. Something like that. LOL and then I actually, that's right, I made her/wanted her to read it, maybe I wasn't 100% sure she was going to read it, so I made out that I could not access my profile, maybe because of internet issues, and wanted my friend to tell me if I had any new comments LOL.
And I knew that my new comment was from this person I fancied saying 'baby..' etc. And that is where that story ends.
Lol. I just wanted to say that as an example of me as the mind and how FAR I went to prove something which obviously was bullshit from start to finish aha.